Episode 217: Clippy Lovemaking Tips

"Clippy Lovemaking Tips" is the 217th episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me, which was originally broadcast on September 15, 2014 at 3:22 PM.


"Come for the erudite discussion of games industry acquisitions and mergers, stay for the discussion of undergarment oversaturation.

Suggested talking points: GamerTalk, The Law, Memory Foam Remembers, Seeds of Pants, Caesar's Revenge, Weird Ask Jeeves"



(Justin) Hello everybody and welcome to My Brother, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the modern era. Breaking news; I'm Justin McElroy.

(Travis) Wait, is that the breaking news? I'm Travis McElroy.

(Griffin) (laughing)

(Justin) No, I'm setting people up for breaking news.

(Griffin) I'm Griffin -

(Travis) Oh it's a teaser.

(Griffin) I'm Griffin -

(Justin) We've got our lead video game correspondent, Travis McElroy.

(Griffin) I'm Griffin McElroy.

(Justin) Travis, reporting, the lead video game expert and correspondent, Travis McElroy. What's the news in video games?

(Travis) Um, I eh, deh, so I think Bill Gates is playing Minecraft now? I -

(Griffin) Yep.

(Travis) Hold on, let me read this story.

(Griffin) He just joined my son's server and he won't stop stealing all the diamonds.

(Travis) It looks like, oh, yup, okay. So it looks like they're gonna buy Minecraft, uh -

(Griffin) You can't buy - you can't buy Minecraft, it's a world of infinite freedom and exploration and imagination. You can't. It's like, I'm gonna -

(Justin) Yeah, it's like, don't be ridiculous, you need 2.5 billion dollars.

(Griffin) I'm gonna buy all the rainbows in the world. And ya can't.

(Travis) Oh, it looks like Bill Grates, Bill Gates sneezed and accidentally bought Minecraft.

(Griffin) Yep.

(Justin) It's like trying to buy all the world's wishes.

(Griffin) Yeah, ya can't do that.

(Travis) He did that too. He did that in 2010.

(Griffin) For 2 billion. A clean 2 billion.

(Justin) I wondered why all my dreams died. I thought that was connected to turning 30, but apparently Bill Gates bought my dreams.

(Griffin) It's the energy by which he sustains his life. Now. But now he's using voxels, a voxel-based imagination engine. Fuckin' thanks for that Bill, Bill G.

(Justin) Is the, I've long suspected that the rich are not concerned about global warming because they are, have another, they have an escape plan that they're not telling us about. That's why they're accumulating that vast wealth to make an ark from which to leave the earth and possibly the solar system. Do you think that Minecraft is actually the, the vehicle by which the world's rich are going to exit this planet? They're going to basically join the mindstream -

(Travis) Wait, hold on. Are you talking like, Toys-level shit, where, like, we all think it's a game but really we're terraforming a far-off planet and it's all real? Or they're going to, like, Matrix into the Minecraft world?

(Justin) They're making it into Minecraft -

(Travis) Which weird movie are you referencing?

(Justin) What I'm saying is that my, I'm not, this is completely from my mind. This is, like, from my mind's eye. I think that the, America and the world's rich are going to download their ego -

(Travis) Mhmmm

(Justin) -into Minecraft, and that will become the new utopia of the rich.

(Travis) So more like Captain N or more like, uh -

(Justin) Stop trying to fucking put my genius in a pop culture box!

(Travis) I just wondered if it's like Cool World, like, what are we looking at?


(Griffin) (Laughing)

(Justin) It's kind of like Cool World. It's kind of like Cool World.

(Griffin) Is it, are we talking about a Snow Dogs situation? Are we talking about a Snow Dogs situation?

(Travis) What about Out To Sea?

(Justin) Okay. Have you seen A Walk Among the Clouds?

(Travis) Uh huh.

(Griffin) I've seen Boat Trip...

(Justin) Okay. Have you seen Boat Trip -

(Travis) Mhmmm.

(Griffin) -with Cuba Gooding Jr.

(Justin) Okay. It's like that.

(Travis) It's kinda like that.

(Justin) It's kinda like that.

(Griffin) Um, straight talk, this is the fucking dumbest and worst thing ever, 2.5 billion dollars for a 300-year-old game.

(Justin) Why didn't he email us?

(Griffin) Why didn't they email me? "Hey, Griffin. Could we get you to sign off on this one?"
"Ohhh, 2.5 million? Yeah, that's not a bad idea."
"Sorry dawg, re-read that letter."
"Oh no, that's far too much money Bill Gates. For this game. To buy it now."

(Travis) Hey Griffin, is it 2007? Should we buy Minecraft?

(Griffin) Is it 1991? (? 4:22) was just born. I'm going to buy this product ahead of time for 2.5 hundred dollars. Sounds great! That's a great decision. That's a great deci-

(Justin) That's, it's called the ground floor.

(Griffin) Mhmm. You were on a spaceship overlooking the building because that building is a billion years old. And you just spent 2 dollars for every year that that game has been on the earth.

(Justin) Bring it to a scale that we can all understand, right? Uh, Maximum Fun scooped up My Brother, My Brother and Me the brand, in April of, uh, 2011.

(Griffin) For 750 million dollars.

(Justin) For 750 million dollars.

(Travis) Mhmm.

(Justin) If they came to us now with 750 million dollars, I would spit in Jesse Thorn’s face. I would spit in his face and I would say, “What, ah, look at who you’re talking to.”

(Griffin) Mhmm.

Bring the car around. Right? like, Because we’re, I mean, massive, I guess massive would be the word, too big to -

(Travis) But what Microsoft has done, Microsoft did the equivalent of coming to My Brother, My Brother and Me in 2000211, and tried to buy the property.

(Griffin) (laughing)

(Justin) We’re more of a religion, wild stallions-esque religion.

(Griffin) Yeah. We’re just our energies are contained within crystals. You light a magic torch behind it and we are projected into the world and then we say some shit about a horse.

(Justin) Uh, no, it’s a really bad… I don’t have a video game podcast anymore, so I’ll just have to tell you, the My Brother, My Brother and Me audience, that that’s a crazy thing. It would be like coming to the Beatles now, and saying “I wanna sign you.”

(Griffin) I just played the - I played the Beatles Rock Band and I, I had never heard of you guys before, but I love your stuff so I will need to buy all of you. I mean, that is what Apple did! Apple did do that! Uhh, bad businesses.

(Justin) Apple did that to U2, though. I feel bad for U2. Apple went to U2 and said, “We’ll give, heh, is anybody gonna buy your new album?”
And U2 said (British? accent), “Oh blimey prolly not, gov.”
And then, uh, Steve Jobs Jr., the new president was like, “Ahhh, I wonder if we could give it, what if we forced everybody to take it?”
“Oh gov, blimey, that would be great.”

(Griffin) “You’ll have to give us some money. How many dollars? Catorce? Fourteen dollars?”

(Justin) “I was never quite clear on that, right?”

(Griffin) “How about a hundre- I thought catorce was just, like, a number and you could make it mean whatever you want it to mean.”
“No, it’s Spanish for 14.”

(Justin) “Like, you know, like supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, right?”

(Griffin) “You just count up. It’s like, 1, 2, 3, and then a number that can mean any number.

(Justin) Higher than 3, right?

(Griffin) Higher than 3.

(Travis) The first iPod I ever owned was a second-hand U2-themed iPod that came with like the discography-

(Griffin) That’s true

(Travis) on the iPod.

(Griffin) Yeah, they’ve been suckin that teat for a long, long time. Should we, uh, do advice?

(Justin) Yeah.

(Travis) Yeah. Don’t buy Minecraft.

(Griffin) Don’t buy Minecraft. I mean, buy the game it’s a great game! It’s a great-

(Justin) Don’t buy the game because you don’t have the money because it’s free. You paid 2.5 billion -

(Travis) that’s a horrible business model!

(Justin) That’s a terrible business model!

(Travis) I’m going to buy McDonald’s and also they give burgers away for free. Ah, overhead. Who cares?

(Griffin) Who gives a shit. Questions.

(Justin) (Sighs) Oh god. Questions.

Listener Question #1 (7:30)

“I’ve been happily married for 2 years but I could not come up with a passable way to address my mother in law. I know people usually call their mother-in-law “mom” or “mother” or just call her by this name, but it kinda freaks me out. Due to this situation, I usually avoid addressing her directly-” (ah cool.) “-which requires a good amount of effort at social gatherings. I try not to call her out directly, e.g., if we’re around the same dinner table and she has the salt shaker in front of her, I would do without the salt shaker for that entire meal-

(Griffin) dying of laughter

(Justin) -that is cool.

(Griffin) She’s like a cerberus, standing, just looming over the salt shaker.

(Travis) Could I get the salt? Uhh, never mind.

(Justin) “Eh, hey, why do you always have gravy on your sleeves? “Well, it’s because I’m a far reacher.”
“How can I overcome this problem, brothers?” And there’s a name here, but Travis just put this person’s real name, and that’s not what we do.

(Travis) Well that’s, that’s-

(Griffin) *Especially not in this situation.

(Travis) That’s what they put.

(Griffin) Well, we’ll call ‘em, we’ll call ‘em, uh, Naughty in Nebraska.

(Justin) Naughty in Nebraska. Fine. Even thought it doesn’t have anything to do with their question. That’s the best part.

(Travis) Nomenclature in Noam, Alaska.

(Griffin) Horny in Corpus Christi,

(Justin) I cannot…

(Travis) What do you guys call your mother in laws?



(Travis) Justin?

(Justin) Uh, you know, I’ve been, I’ve been getting more into “Mom”, I’ve been saying “Mom” more often, I find myself saying “Mom” more often, just because we’ve been family for a long time and it seems weird to say Mary. So.

(Travis) Let me ask you this. Since it-

(Justin) It was a pretty natural thing though, it’s nothing I forced, it just seemed...

(Griffin) Yeah.

(Travis) Since baby Chuck, did that evolve? Like, did she take on a grandmother-type name from you? I’ve heard that before.

(Justin) No, I mean, probably as Chuck’s older I need to talk to Chuck now.. I don’t need to talk to Chuck at all. Some people talk to her and I’m like, “She doesn’t get it. That’s weird. Stop wasting your breath.” But like, I, uh, I, uh… No. I mean it just sort of happened over time. I will admit, like, the first time it has to be, like, a conscious decision I think, like, I’m gonna say this now and it’s gonna be kind of weird but I’m just gonna like go for it. And then after that, like, it wasn’t that strange. I mean, sometimes I say “Mom”, sometimes I say “Mary”, it just kinda depends on the situation.

(Griffin) Can I hit you guys with something I’ve been thinking about? Why don’t you just call, if you got uh, a mother in law or a father in law, just call ‘em “Law”.

(Travis) Mmm.

(Griffin) Just call ‘em “Law”. Then you can use it, it’s gender neutral, and you can just use it whenever you want and I think, I mean, it sounds tight. If someone was like, “Hey Law,” and I’d be like, “Yes. That’s me. I AM the law. Thank you for saying that.”

(Travis) Then you could go with, like, law mom and law dad.

(Griffin) Nope! You can’t. Cause then you -

(Travis) It would just be Law? But then doesn’t that get confusing? Are you calling me Law, or her Law?

(Griffin) It’s context sensitive, Travis. You don’t always have to explicitly say who the subject of any sentence is. People are smart enough to figure it out.

(Justin) It’s like when you say “you”. That could mean, like, anybody.

(Griffin) Mhmm. Or when you say Linda, and you’re in a room with a few Lindas in it.

(Justin) Maybe you’re at a Linda convention.

(Griffin) Maybe you are.

(Justin) Maybe you’re at Linda Con 2014?

(Griffin) Exactly.

(Justin) Maybe you’re the hired entertainment and maybe you shoulda practiced your songs a little bit.

(Griffin) Hi, I’m Linda Ronstadt, and thank you for bringing me here.

(Justin) I’m a Linda Ronstadt cover, Linda Nonstadt. And this is, and, are there any Lindas in the house tonight? 

Lindas, let me hear you.

(Travis) Good question.

(Justin) Lindas, let me hear you.

(Griffin) You know what name I really like is Linda. Sure is great to be back in Corpus Christi, Texas. Um, this is, uh, this is a tough one. And I mean, I just... I’ve dropped the honorifics almost entirely from my life, because people have names for a reason and it’s, it’s just to let you know where they fit in the, the, the great big ole’ filing cabinet we call the earth. Isn’t that right, guys?

(Travis) But it, I think the best advice is to ask her. Be like, “Hey,” -

(Justin) Oh that’s a cool conversation. “Can I call you Mom?” That’s not a fuckin’ relationship ender?

(Griffin) And make sure you’re covered in -

(Justin) (baby voice) “Ah-scuse me, can I, ‘scuse me?” You’re on your knees, pulling her apron strings.

(Griffin) You’re covered in food.

(Justin) (baby voice) “Can I call you mommy?”

(Griffin) Yeah.

(Travis) Well, I mean, I thought… I thought this was kind of a throw it at the wall and see what sticks kind of conversation -

(Justin) Well we certainly did that!

(Travis) -but I didn’t know you guys already had the answer.

(Justin) Throw it at the wall and see what sticks.

(Griffin) We don’t have the answer. Listen. A lot of the times, on this show, you’ve been a part of this program for a long time now, Travis. You should know that we don’t always have the answers, but we do know the absolute wrongest answer! And I believe that circle got the square right there.

(Travis) Well let me, okay. Let me take another shot at this.

(Griffin) Okay.

(Travis) If you’re at a point where you’re not sure, then you should just call her by her name.

(Griffin) Do you know her name?

(Justin) That, is actually decent advice.

(Travis) Because, I mean, right now, if… I think it’s like saying “I love you”. If you’re not ready to call her “Mom” or “Mother” or anything like that, then don’t do it. Because it’s not at that point yet. Also, I would say, two years seems like a long time, but in the grand scheme of things it’s still pretty new.

(Justin) I honestly just got to the point where my mother in law had done me so many solids over our time together as relatives, that if I didn’t start calling her "Mom" I was gonna start feeling really guilty.

(Travis) Yeah.

(Justin) Like, listen, you cannot be Mary anymore. You have brought me, you have brought uh, McDonald’s breakfast to the hospital like 7 days in a row for me, so I’m just promoting you to Mom. Congratulations.

(Griffin) Um, do you guys wanna Yahoo?


(Travis) Yes.

(Griffin) Oh, you didn’t answer.

(Travis) Sorry.

(Justin) Yes, I do, I do. I was thinking about it.

(Griffin) Um -

(Justin) You asked, and I just figured…

(Travis) I think just across the board we got really good questions this week.

(Griffin) Okay.

(Travis) I really.. I love them.

(Griffin) Well thanks for ruining the surprise.

(Travis) Okay.

(Griffin) Um, this Yahoo was sent in by Scuba Steve and it's, I think, a pretty great transition off the last question. It’s by Yahoo Answers user Tony, who asks:

Yahoo Question #1 (13:32)

Is memory foam bad for sex? Thinking of getting either a memory foam mattress or a topper. Update: Also, I mean, good sex. Not boring sex. Thanks for any insight.

(Travis) Oh, well I’m glad he clarified because memory foam’s great for boring sex.

(Griffin) I mean, I don’t wanna show my hand but, um, I make love like I’m slowly being absorbed by quicksand.

(Travis) Mhmm. The problem with -

(Justin) I don’t want... here’s the problem. You can use a memory foam mattress and it’ll make sex, sex better. But only if you get a memory foam mattress after you’ve been having sex for a while. Because if you have sex for the first few times on a memory foam mattress and then later you’re still having sex on it, you’re gonna look at those previous indentations and think, “Ugh, what was I doing?”

(Travis) Memory foam remembers.

(Griffin) I don’t remember that!

(Justin) What’s with all the elbow imprints? What was I doing?

(Griffin) (laughing)

(Travis) The weird thing is when you plug your memory foam into your computer and you download all of the information and it gives you all the stats off of your previous lovemaking sessions.

(Griffin) (laughing)

(Justin) Hey it’s me, Clippy. Good number of pumps there, Trav! You want me to keep track of your pumps? It’s me, Clippy! I’ll track yer pumps for ya Trav! Hey, have you tried Minecraft?

(Griffin) What if it’s..

(Justin) I see you added a swerve, Trav, that’s fantastic!

(Travis) You need to see a doctor, Trav! We could give you virus alerts?

(Justin) Hey Trav, you gotta compensate for the angle, Trav! You know what I’m talkin’ about.

(Griffin) You need to run a McAfee virus check, buddy!

(Travis) Can’t help but notice you’re not cuddlin’ afterwards, you jackass!

(Griffin) What if, what if you ran it and his erect penis had a red, squiggly line underneath it?


(Griffin) Oh boy.

(Travis) You spelled “Ohhhhhhh” incorrectly.


(Griffin) Um, I mean, I, none of us own a memory foam, right? I know that we’re making a lot -

(Justin) They’re really expensive.

(Griffin) I know we’re making a lot of money on this show, but not that Minecraft money.

(Travis) No.

(Griffin) Um, it seems to me though, like, it wouldn’t be ideal unless for some reason while you fuck you like to have glasses of wine all around you that you don’t want to spill over onto yourself.

(Travis) It seems, it’s so funny to me because it seems like forty years ago the thing was, like, water, y’know, water mattresses.

(Griffin) Yeah.

(Travis) What are those called?

(Griffin) Water beds, Jesus.

(Travis) Which is like, the polar opposite of memory foam. Memory foam is like, oh you can, like, bounce a bowling ball and nothing happens. And a water bed is like, oh you moved your elbow and you flipped the other person out of the bed.

(Griffin) Yeah. Well, I think that the, I think that making love, when you make love in a memory foam, um, you are nullifying a lot of the earth’s natural physics and effects and a lot of the simple machines featured in a traditional mattress. And I think that, I mean, I love Extreme Restraints, but I get by with those simple machines. You know what I mean? Springs, levers -

(Travis) Screws.

(Griffin) Thank you. Incline planes. Things like that. And on a memory foam, you are floating in the negative zone. You know what I mean? You are imprisoned in the negative zone.

(Travis) You and Zod. Makin’ love.

(Griffin) Makin’ love and that can be pleasurable.

(Justin) Kneel before Zod.


(Griffin) But I don’t think it works for everyone.

(Justin) Excellent.

(Travis) But isn’t that true of all lovemaking, Griffin? Maybe one man’s memory foam is another man’s Sleep Number Bed.

(Griffin) Now, a Sleep Number Bed-

(Travis) Is another man’s inflatable camping mattress.

(Griffin) Sleep Number Bed would be great because I have always wanted a fuck number. That’s something they do not feature in the advertiss-amints. But you say, “What’s your sleep number?” 
“What’s your fuck number?”
“35! Yeah!”
And then someone was like, “Is that the number of people you’ve slept with?”
And it’s like, “No, that number is zero.”


(Griffin) “I just know, I know my fuck number in preparation for that special day.”

(Travis) They find that for you in the store.

(Justin) “That number is zero and looking. Ladies.”

(Travis) Zero plus.

(Griffin) And then you say, “Why is it zero?”
And he says, “True love waits.”
And then it was a commercial for True Love Waits the whole time.

(Travis) Okay guys. Marry, Fuck, Kill. Are you ready? Sleep Number -

(Griffin) Yep

(Travis) Memory foam -

(Griffin) Yep

(Travis) Craftmatic adjustable.

(Griffin) Oh my god. I think kill the Craftmatic just because it would kill you, I think, to try and, um, make that two-backed beast up on that. You’d get folded up like a panini.

(Justin) The sexiest panini.

(Griffin) Did you see someone did that with us in the Facebook group?

(Justin) I asked them to not.

(Travis) Did I win? Did I win?

(Griffin) I… nobody won. It was the worst.

Listener Question #2 (18:42)

“I often crash on friends’ couches because I don’t like driving drunk.” Good for you! “My friends are always cool with this because they’d rather me crash at their place or into another car or in a jail. Or into a jail. My issue with this is that I can’t sleep with pants on. I usually get under a blanket and slip off my pants -”

(Griffin) Oh man, this is gonna be a good question!

(Justin) So it’s just gonna be a shirt and undies!

“My question is this: am I making myself too at home when I do this, or is this okay as long as I don’t walk around their home in my undies.” -Sleepless when I have Pants On in Birminghell, Alabama.”

(Justin) Oh my god, I have done this move!

(Griffin) I know.

(Justin) Oh me, I’m a gentleman. I’m sleeping in my pants. As soon as the lights are off, the covers are on, those pants are outskis.

(Griffin) Um, can we talk about Bachelor in Paradise just for a second? Just for a, give me 45 seconds to please, please talk about this.

(Justin) Ugh, fine.

(Travis) You get a 45-second visa.

(Griffin) In the finale there is this couple, um Sarah and Robert -

(Justin) Spoilers.

(Griffin) There is this couple, Sarah and Robert, and you can tell that Robert wasn’t, like, feelin’ it. I think he just liked that good good paradise, um, scene. He liked being a part of the beach scene, and they went to the fantasy suite on their last day there and nothing happened, and, um, I knew that it was a whole situation because Sarah was like, “Yeah, Robert slept in the bed with me. Never took his jeans off!” And I was like, that’s not love! That’s not intimacy! That is what a murderer does! That’s… that’s… nobody can be comfortable in jeans. Nobody can be comfortable in jeans.

(Travis) I… he… okay. If you’re doing this frequently enough that you had to write in to a comedy advice podcast to ask us about it, maybe you need to start carrying like, a little overnight bag with you when you go to parties at friends’ houses, take some, like, comfy sleep pants.

(Griffin) Yeah.

(Justin) That’s the secret that I have. I bring sleep shorts with me.

(Griffin) Where?

(Justin) What?

(Travis) Everywhere he goes he’s got his fanny pack…

(Justin) Everywhere I go. Well, if I’m gonna be sleeping in another locale, I bring sleep shorts. So you know, like -

(Griffin) But I..

(Justin) I’m basically bringing basketball shorts.

(Griffin) He’s… he’s… I don’t think he’s ever planning on sleeping at the… maybe you need… I got it, I got it, I got it. You don’t wanna carry a fucking gym bag around with you to the bars, you know what I mean? But, you can sow your seeds of comfortable pants at all of the houses of your friends that you think you’re going to pass out at.

(Travis) Oh, like a hide-a-key. Like you bury it in the yard.

(Griffin) Yeah. You’re gonna probably pay a nominal fee for this service. Rent for your shorts.

(Travis) Mhmm.

(Griffin) And then you place that strategically at a dozen locations and you’re like, “Aw fuck, I’m real real fucked up, I’m gonna go to sleep but ahhh I cannnn’t I got my jeans on.” And they’ll be like, “Don’t worry Bryce, because you planned for this. You planted this pants seed and now you get to reap the sweet rewards of it.” And you change into those comfy, dry shorts and you feel the breeze on your legs. And you sleep. You sleep the sleep of angels.

(Justin) Sometimes I just go full nude.

(Griffin) No you don’t.

(Travis) No.

(Griffin) No you don’t.

(Travis) You would never.

(Griffin) You wouldn’t and you haven’t. Don’t lie to be cool.

(Justin) Well you’ve been in… you have both been in hotel rooms with me where you have seen me go to bed as a shorts-clad gentleman and you’ve heard the snores of a naked man!

(Griffin) You son of a bitch, that was a place of trust, that was a place of belief in safety.

(Travis) And I’m sorry Justin, but that’s a huge difference between being in a hotel room that you’ve paid to be in, and just going commando on your friend’s couch where he also watches, I… I don’t know, Bachelor in Paradise, it sounds like.

(Griffin) Yeah.

(Travis) That’s weird. That is weird.

(Justin) Is it worse or better?

(Travis) Worse!

(Griffin) It’s 100 times worse.

(Justin) What I did was worse?

(Griffin) No. Balls on the couch is worse.

(Justin) So you’re very, very comfortable with my naked body, is what you’re saying. You’re very, very, very comfortable with me being nude, nude, totally nude.

(Travis) Justin, at this point, at this point… yes. I… I’ve grown up with it, it’s 30 years in the making, yeah.

(Griffin) It’s basically- When I look at your naked body, Justin, on Reddit -

(Justin) (laughs) Thank you!

(Griffin) When I look at your Reddit nudes, I basically, I just feel like I’m looking at my body, do you know what I mean? Like genetically it’s, it’s… that’s my... those are my… that’s my, um, (whispers) scrotum.

(Justin) Say it! Say the word. FINISH IT.

(Griffin) It’s my scrotum, basically.

(Travis) Mhmm. I can’t stress enough this is triply not okay if you’re in, uh, either briefs or really loose-fitting boxers.

(Griffin) No, that’s… drunk passed out on a friend’s couch in briefs is not the best scene. I think, um, I think boxers is a horse of a different color compared to -

(Travis) No, I’m talking those loose-fitting, like really thin, there’s nothing keeping the fly together ones. You’re in boxer briefs? You’ve got it. You got full coverage, and it’s almost like you’re wearing tiny shorts.

(Griffin) Exactly.

(Justin) Can I… I wanna… actually can I bring up a related underwear issue? And I’m hoping that either you guys or the listeners can help me with this. When I buy boxers, and I wear boxer shorts usually. When I wear boxers, I like the boxers that have, like, stretch to them. Like, are a fabric that has some flexibility and stretching. And I keep buying boxers that don’t have that. That are just, like, a solid stiff fabric with no flex or stretch and I don’t know how to avoid it. Is there some sort of language that I should be looking for on the packaging that tells me that I’m getting the kind of boxers I like? Am I alone here?

(Travis) You gotta look at what the material is.

(Justin) Well what material am I looking for, because I’ve bought 100% cotton that have both swung both ways.

(Griffin) There should be a sticker on the package somewhere that describes its viscousness rating.

(Travis) That is true.

(Justin) I’ve never seen that.

(Griffin) Where are you buying these shorts again?

(Justin) Everywhere! I’ve tried online! I thought maybe paying… I thought maybe like, the cheap ones were the ones that didn’t have any sort of stretch to them…

(Travis) No, no, no.

(Justin) No! Sometimes you can buy expensive ones that don’t have any stretch.

(Griffin) Go to Target.

(Justin) They BIND!

(Griffin) Go to Target. They’ll let you just take one out of the package and then you throw it at the wall. And then tell me, call me when that happens and I’ll tell you where to go from there.

(Justin) Okay, good. If you don’t mind I’m gonna get you on the horn beforehand because I don’t want to get into a situation where I’m just a guy throwing underwear at a wall, and not a guy throwing underwear at a wall and talking.

(Griffin) Well not any wall. At the underwear wall.

(Justin) Oh, okay.

(Griffin) There is a wall… listen, there’s gonna be a wall in Target. You’ve… you’re fuckin’ 42 years old. How do you not know this? How do you not know about underwear walls and viscousness ratings?

(Travis) Is it your first day? Read a book!

(Griffin) Have you been living with uncomfortable genitals your whole time here? On earth?

(Justin) I’m gonna check my underwear right now.

(Griffin) Okay.

(Justin) Nope, they’re binding. They’re binding. These are binding.

(Griffin) Okay.

(Justin) Oh I hate that.

(Griffin) I would be uncomfortable with that level of detail but it’s basically my underwear and balls too.

(Justin) Let’s go to the Money Zone.

(Travis) Speaking of undies…

(Justin) Speaking of undies! Oh man, that is not intentional. But hey, MeUndies. I’ll tell you what I need to do. Know what I need to do? I need to just go to MeUndies.com/() and get some of the best underwear on earth. I talk about how this ruins my day, wearing bad underwear. MeUndies is going to scoop me up in the most delectable, comfortable underwear I’ve ever owned, and whisk me away. And if I go to MeUndies.com/(), I’m going to get 20% off my first order.

(Griffin) Fuck yeah. And you’re gonna love it, Justin. You know what the viscousness rating on these undies are? A+.

(Justin) Infinite?

(Griffin) A.. it’s A..

(Travis) Well not infinite. That would just be like wearing a cloud.

(Griffin) Wearing mood slime. No, it’s gonna feel so great. It’s a delectable weave. You’re gonna love how these -

(Justin) A delectable weave?

(Griffin) You’re gonna love how these undies feel on your breezeway, I guarantee it.

(Travis) And it’s not just undies! They’ve got, like, t-shirts and stuff too. They’ve got pretty much your underclothes, uh, covered. Men, women, everyone.

(Griffin) You can take a t-shirt and you can flip it upside down and put your legs through the armholes and use that as underwear and it’s still gonna feel better than the bullshit joke-ass underwear that you’re wearing right now.

(Travis) I’m looking at the banner across the top of the MeUndies website, and it threw me for a second because it says Men, Women, More, and then I thought it said Reefer. But it said Refer. And then that is a much different thing you can buy.

(Griffin) We got you. What you need, shirts? Underwears? Weed? Did you need a little bit… lil…

(Travis) Did you want a tank top or a dank top?


(Griffin) Did you want… did you want underwear or did you want pot?

(Travis) (laughing) Okay. They’ve got sleep clothes too, so if you’re looking for something to drunkenly pass out in, covered.

(Griffin) Or, in a fog of that sweet, sweet sticky maryjane. Your passout game is gonna increase ten fold. I guarantee it.

(Justin) I’m on their website buying underwear right now, and I also have to say that they have some really attractive models. Men, women, whatever kind of butts you wanna look at, they have got them here for you.

(Travis) Butts and butts and butts and butts.

(Justin) Butts for miles.

(Travis) Butts for days.

(Griffin) They literally made all the models line up and form a human wall of butts. For three and a half miles.

(Travis) Mhmm.

(Justin) Butts for miles. That’s, uh, okay so, anyway. That’s MeUndies.com/(___) Go there, get 20% off, get freaking comfortable for once in your life.

(Travis) Please.

(Justin) How can you buy more undies? Well, I’m glad you asked.

(Travis) If you knew 72 hours from now that you’d have $35,000, what would you do with it?

(Griffin) I would quit this stupid, fucking podcast.

(Travis) HANDS DOWN. Hands down.

(Justin) In a second.

(Travis) Maybe you’d, uh, maybe more normal people, maybe they could, uh, pay off, uh, credit cards. Or start a business, or a home improvement project.

(Griffin) Tim the Tool Man Taylor grunt (laughs)

(Travis) By which I mean a project about Home Improvement.

(Griffin) Oh man, I fucking threaded the needle. I don’t get a lot of the MVP jokes in the show, so, like, it feels really good when I know that I just really fucking nailed that. And I had the one that, like, we’re gonna do the YouTube breakout video for. I fucking love it. It never happens, so I know it just happened and it feels great.

(Travis) Well if you’re looking to start on a big project, I think Prosper is gonna be your answer.

(Griffin) Yeah.

(Justin) Tell me about Prosper, Travis.

(Travis) I mean, it’s a little hard… It’s a financial thing so it’s a little hard to explain on a comedy podcast, but basically the concept is, it’s like peer-to-peer lending. Um, so say, y’know, I’m moving cross country and I say, I think that this is gonna end up being -

(Justin) You are.

(Travis) Yes. I think this is gonna end up being costing me $20,000. I don’t have $20,000.

(Griffin) You sure don’t.

(Travis) But I go to a bank and I say, “Hey I need $20,000 to move” and they’re like, “Nah, that’s not really the kind of loan we give out.” Right? In the olden days, I’d be done. That would be it. Like, well I guess I’ll wait 2 years and save the money. Right? But with Prosper, I just go on Prosper and I make a post, y’know, I make a listing that says I’m looking for this. So then all, everybody, the lenders on Prospers are all other Prosper users. So they go “Okay, great. This seems like a good investment, he’s got a good rating, he’s paid back his other stuff, I’m gonna do this.” And then you give that personal loan and they pay you back. So basically it cuts out the middle man of the banks and makes it so that you are loaning your money and getting that money paid back.

(Justin) I like the sound of this.

(Travis) Yeah. I mean, it’s a genius idea. Um, basically, you’ll never have to set foot in a bank, there’s no outrageous fees, no raising interest rates, it’s, I think it’s brilliant. If you go to Prosper.com/(___), you can check your rate instantly and it won’t affect your credit score, and they’re offering MBMBAM listeners a $50 Visa prepaid card when you get a loan.

(Justin) There’s some text we have to read here so let me do that. (In female Woody Allen/Jerky Boys voice, reads financial fine print.)

(Travis) Go check it out.

(Griffin) Oh god. I hope… does it still legally apply?

(Justin) (still in female Woody Allen/Jerky Boys voice) It still legally applies!

(Griffin) Okay.

(Travis) When did this voice start? I missed the intro to this voice.

(Justin) It’s several voices combined! It’s female Woody Allen. And also Jerky Boys apparently.

(Griffin) I have a favor to ask everybody. Well not a favor, because a favor makes, it sounds like I’m asking you to do something unpleasant, when what I’m asking you to do will be most pleasurable, I guarantee it. Uh, I want you to check out the -

(Travis) Griffin guarantees your pleasure.

(Griffin) Mmmmm. I want you to check out the LoveCraft Brewing Company. They are, they’ve got a Kickstarter campaign going right now to open up a farmhouse-style craft brewery up Washington. And they are crafting beers that are all Lovecraftian in nature, like the Hypnos IPA, the Elder God Bier de Garde, a lot of Bruthulu barley wine, a lot of really really great stuff. So yeah, they are raising money. They have asked for our help to signal boost their campaign. And they have a lot of really great rewards for backers, like -

(Travis) They’ve got a couple limited-edition prints, posters, t-shirts, glasswear -

(Griffin) Yeah.

(Travis) On lots of different levels.

(Griffin) And if you live in Washington, you should help out with this anyway because it, uh, I mean I’m sure it’s going to be delicious, but also -

(Travis) It would also be nice for Washington to finally get, like, a craft brewing company.

(Griffin) Mhmm.

(Travis) Y’know, something… it seems like it’s time to start. It’s time to start a craft brewing company in Washington finally.

(Griffin) Yeah, for once. So yeah, LoveCraft Brewing, check it out on Kickstarter, Facebook, or Google.

Jumbotron personal message #1 (33:33)

(Justin) Great. Kevin Lockey, I got a message for you from Nicholas Bale. He says, “Hey Kevin, you board-game-playing goof. I couldn’t think of what to get you for your birthday, so here’s a message from me to you. Happy birthday. Enjoy this message from the three wisest brothers I know, sent one month before your special day, so it’s probably late. You’re a cool guy who’s fun to game with and I hope this year is your best yet.” Listen, Nicholas. Don’t fuckin’ throw shade on us. “So it’s probably late.” Maybe it’s not late.

(Travis) I thought that it was Nicholas throwing shade at himself and saying, “I know I didn’t - “

(Justin) I got a podcast for you -

(Travis) I didn’t get in quick enough because I know I have to request them like 8 months in advance.

(Justin) I got a podcast for you on this network if you want to throw shade, it’s called Throwing Shade. And I think your brand of comedy will be more welcome there. Mister.

(Travis) It’s also a great show and you should -

(Griffin) It’s also a really good show.

(Justin) It’s like fun to listen to. But still, also!

(Travis) You turd. Thanks for your money!

(Griffin) Thanks for the money, and happy birthday Kevin.

(Justin) Thanks for the money, turd.

(Travis) Thanks for your turd money.

(Justin) Thanks for the turd money, Nicholas.

(Travis) It’s smells like turds but it spends like gold.

(Song Exploder ad, 34:43)

Yahoo question #2 (35:17)

(Griffin) I got a Yahoo here, and it was sent in by level 300 emerald-member shaman, Drew Davenport. A Ya-Drew. Thank you Ya-Drew. It’s by Yahoo Answers user Huzzah, who asks,

“What do you think Brutus would reply to Caesar’s line, “et tu Brute”? I’m doing a project based off The Fault in Our Stars movie poster. The top cloud says “Et tu Brute”, the bottom cloud would have to be something after that. I was going to use “Et tu Caesar”, but I don’t think that makes much sense.” Nope. “What would be a good, relatively short quote to put? Doesn’t have to be a real quote. Also, if you have better quote instead of the “et tu Brute”, something having to do with Brutus and Cassius, that would also work.”

(Griffin) So we’re helping this person do homework, it sounds like. And it sounds like it’s an English teacher who’s, you know, trying to be fun, I guess.

(Travis) I’m thinking like, “et tu Brute? Yeah, tu Brute!”

(Griffin) Yeah…

(Travis) Maybe?

(Griffin) That would be like…

(Travis) “Et three Brute.”

(Griffin) No, I don’t think that’s how Latin works.

(Travis) Mmm.

(Griffin) I love the play. It’s the… I think it’s the only Shakespeare play I’ve ever been in and I played Casca.

(Justin) You were excellent, by the way. Very lovely.

(Griffin) Thank you. I don’t want to brag, but I was fucking awesome and I got really good reviews from the New York... Post. But I do think that it could be improved if, when Caesar’s like, “You did! You did this… this is how you do me.” if Brutus was like, “Yeah you basic bitch!”


(Travis) You’ve just been Brutus-ed.

(Griffin) Travis, you’ve done a lot of -

(Justin) Starring Aaron Paul, as Brutus.

(Griffin) You’ve done a lot of, like, Shakespere, um, bullshit, lot of follies in your life

(Travis) Correct.

(Griffin) So you’re probably better at Latin than I am, how would you say in Latin, “yeah that’s right you basic bitch”?

(Travis) “At’s-thay ite-ray oo-yay -”

(Griffin) No, you didn’t do it. Come on. That was low, low, low hanging fruit.

(Travis) I went on Google Translate.

(Griffin) You went on Dad Joke Translate.


(Justin) It’ll uh, change your regular jokes to dad jokes.

(Griffin) Um… *do you know what I mean - *

(Travis) Real talk, but real talk, there’s so many amazing quotes from Caesar, that why would you pull the one that’s basically like, “Really Brutus?”

(Griffin) Really dawg?

(Travis) Really? That’s what you’re… that’s the line where like, yeah. This is because he put it in Latin, this is just brilliant writing. He’s just saying, “You too, Brutus?”

(Griffin) Yeah.

(Travis) Like yeah, let’s do it.

(Griffin) What if he’d be like, what if in response Brutus was like, “It’s pronounced Brut-US”, you dumb -

(Travis) Everybody’s been stabbed! You don’t know anyone’s name.

(Justin) Everybody’s been saying it the whole play.

(Griffin) Your last words is a fuck up. And then you hit them again.

(Justin) Why did you just start speaking Latin? Get the knife-

(Travis) We’re Roman.

(Justin) Get the knife, hit the part of your brain for English.

(Griffin) Do you guys think in plays the person who plays Julius Caesar thinks, like, for like a second, every night, before the stabbing scene, thinks like, “What if one of these jokesters has a real knife?” and thinks about, like, I’mma get stabbed for real, though. And then the show must go on, so you just gotta lie there and die.

(Justin) Oh god, what a believable, stirring performance that would be. If I was playing Julius Caesar, I’m the sort that every night before I get stabbed I would think, “Maybe not tonight. Maybe don’t make it up. Then what am I gonna say in the play?”

(Travis) Fight ‘em off?

(Justin) “Maybe this night I’ll… maybe tonight I’ll win. Maybe tonight they won’t make a heel turn and, uh, I’ll just be at work and I’ll just pop out like nobody’s business.”

(Griffin) You hear, “Speak hands for me”, you pull out a fucking bow staff, a couple size, like NOPE.

(Justin) Not tonight.

(Griffin) Fuck your hands!

(Travis) Yes, and!

(Griffin) That would be fucking tight.

(Justin) That would be sweet, right?

(Travis) Wait, is The Fault in Our Stars a reference to Julius Caesar?

(Griffin) Yeah.

(Travis) I didn’t know that.

(Griffin) Travis.

(Travis) I don’t… I mean, I’ve been doing Shakespeare for the last like 5 years but I haven’t, like, been paying attention.

(Justin) Not that close of attention.

(Travis) I’ve just been coasting.

(Griffin) You’ve been floating on that MeUndies weed.

(Travis) Yeah.

(Justin) I got a question for you guys.

Listener question #3 (39:55)

“Often when I arrive at the office or a restaurant, I want to wash my hands because the subway is a little gnarly. I usually lock the bathroom door when I do this but since I’m not using the toilet and I’m only in there for a minute, locking the door feels pretty useless. But if I stop locking the door, what if someone walks in? Should I keep locking the door only when hand washing? Or risk a weird moment to avoid the hassle?”

(Griffin) Listen, we can… that was from Gmail. We can burn through this one in 20 seconds. You shouldn’t lock the door when you go to the bathroom to wash your hands because why wouldn’t you want to brag about the fact that you’re washing your hands?

(Travis) I can’t envision the scenario in which someone walks in and you’ve got soapy hands and it’s like, uh, I-

(Griffin) Don’t come in now! Don’t come in now!


(Justin) The situation for me would be a little more like, come on in, come check this clean boy!

(Travis) Doin’ the nails too. This isn’t just a water rinse. I did the soap and everything.

(Griffin) No one’s gonna walk in and be like, “Is that soap on your hands, or cum?!”

(Travis) But, on the other hand I also don’t know what the scenario is where someone walks up, they try the knob, it’s locked, and then you walk out and they go “You were just washing your hands, weren’t you. Why are you locking the door, you freak?”

(Griffin) Okay, what if it’s a single-serving bathroom, right? No stalls, no stalls, nary a stall to be seen. And somebody just is like, tests the door, it’s open! They already have their pants around their ankles. They turn around, do a flip 180, pop down on that toilet, start just tearing the lever off, and then they realize that you are in there. I think that the concern is more, like, I’m in this physical space where dumps happen.

(Travis) To be honest, I don’t know why you wouldn’t just lock the door.

(Griffin) Cause you want people to see you washing your hands. I just…

(Travis) Maybe announce as you’re walking in, “I’m just washing my hands so I’m not gonna lock the door but please don’t come in and start pooping while I’m in here.”

(Griffin) Yeah.

(Travis) See you all in like, tops, 45 seconds.

(Justin) I don’t understand people who don’t lock the door reflexively, just like, thank god, finally, a few moments of peace. Just a few moments to myself away from the rest of them.

(Griffin) A few moments of peace.

(Travis) I’m with you, Justin. Just lock the door.

(Griffin) I guess.

(Travis) No one will judge you for locking the door, but it will be weird if someone walks in and you’re in there. Even if you’re just washing your hands. Especially if like, it’s a small, like there’s just a sink and a terlet in the bathroom and they walk in, it’s like, “Sorry I didn’t know anyone was in..” because they’ll walk in, see you, and think, if I had walked in 10 seconds earlier they might’ve still been peeing.”

(Justin) I might’ve seen dong, yeah. Absolutely. What are you doing, you sicko? Why do you want me to see you? See you do that thing. That you do so good.

(Travis) Unless they see you walk in and they can time out, like, oh it’s only been like 35 seconds so he’s probably just washing his hands.

(Griffin) Because everyone times it out no matter what you say.

(Justin) And also, why did you wash your hands if you didn’t use the bathroom? Did you kill somebody? Killer?

(Travis) Hey Steve, have you noticed that Jerry washes his hands every morning when he comes in? What’s his deal?!

(Griffin) I don’t know, but he’s not poopin’, I timed it out.

(Travis) Look at my logs.

(Griffin) Stop it. Um, do another question.

Listener question #4 (43:02)

“Over the past few weeks at university I’ve noticed several people, both men and women, sitting their disgusting bare feet on the back of chairs in front of them during lectures. How do I nicely but subtly let these people know that they are human monsters who need to stop.” -The Barefoot Belligerent.

(Griffin) You gotta tell on ‘em to the teacher.

(Justin) Excuse me, teach?

(Griffin) Hey teach, I don’t want -

(Travis) Yo teach, peep these feets.

(Griffin) I’m trying to make friends over here, and have a great college experience, but Brenda won’t get her fucking dirty feet off the table.

(Travis) This little piggy went to disgusting.

(Griffin) Mhmm. I’m trying to enrich myself with education.

(Travis) This… I feel like this is a much bigger problem. Whenever I go to a movie theater, I feel like 2 out of 3 people are putting their feet up. Maybe not bare feet, maybe still in shoes, but up on the back of the seats. And it’s, like, were you born in a barn? Like, who, why would you do that? It’s so upsetting to me. Why would you think, like, this is a cool thing. I know I’m in public and this is like - a bunch of other people hanging out.

(Griffin) Cause it feels so good! It feels so good!

(Travis) It also feels good not to wear pants, I’m not gonna do that listening to a lecture!

(Justin) Is the problem with this that we, the decent people of the world, are just not speaking up enough? Does this person owe it to the rest of us to just stand up and say, “Put your shoes on and put your feet down.”

(Travis) Oh, and maybe the person will be like, “Thank you. I was waiting to see, nobody said anything.”

(Griffin) You set me free!

(Justin) “I’ve never had boundaries before! My parents didn’t… they were, like, helicopter parents but they never like trained me in how to be a decent human. Thank you for the boundaries.”

(Travis) “Now I know!”

(Griffin) The person stands up, turns around, and it was Jason Mraz. He says, “You set me free!” And he turns ethereal and floats into the air. And he evaporates. Oh man.

(Travis) You ever see people with their bare feet like up on dashboards in like the passenger seat? God I hope the passenger seat. But, like, feet up on the dashboard on long drives? That weirds me out too.

(Griffin) No, I mean, that was fine…

(Travis) Not as much. Not as much, but it’s still troubling.

(Justin) Do you ever Google pictures of the bare feet of the guy from Dashboard Confessional?

(Griffin) Yeah… Chris Carrabbas.

(Travis) Do you ever Google pictures of The Bare Naked Ladies? 

(Griffin) I’m just gonna real quick treat myself.

(Justin) Hey, on that note, Google? If I could ask everybody Googling a favor? Um, it would be great if any time I do a Google search on an actress, the very first -

(Griffin) Or any human woman!

(Justin) Any human woman, the very, very, very first autocomplete response was not “feet”? That would be, like, amazing.

(Griffin) Fucking!

(Justin) If I could just, like, investigate the career of Ms. Julianna Margulies, like, on my own accord and find out, like, when the years she was active on ER, that sort of thing without, like, the very first response being pictures of her feet? That would be, like, the best for me.

(Griffin) It’s, I gotta tell you Justin, it’s both sides of the aisle too, because if you type CH into Google, it autofills Chris Carrabba’s feet from Dashboard Confessional. Chris Carrabbas, and then in parentheses “(from Dashboard Confessional and his luscious feet)” is what it autofills. Just by CH!

(Justin) That’s… man. People need to get their Google habits fixed, because this is breaking my heart.

(Travis) Or start using Ask Jeeves.

(Griffin) Mmmm! Feet! Mmm! Mmm.

(Justin) What if all the feet searches have been Ask Jeeves the whole time?

(Griffin) What a delicious tendon scene! (squeals)

(Travis) The Achilles tendons are my weakness.

(Griffin) Mmmmmmmmuhhhhhhhhh.

(Justin) Uh, thank you guys so much for listening, guys and gals, for listening to… I say guys but I don’t really mean that gendered, but I guess it has gendered roots…

(Travis) The problem is that English doesn’t have the plural pronoun.

(Griffin) It has y’all.

(Justin) Yeah, people make fun of y’all, which, but, like,

(Griffin) No, actually I think that’s the best, the thing to do.

(Justin) It’s the correction in English.

(Justin) Anyway, thank you for listening to our program My Brother, My Brother and Me. You can Tweet about our show using the #MBMBAM hashtag, or @MBMBAM on Twitter. If you want to get in on, like, a huge social media awakening right now, I guess that’s not overstating things too much, you should go to the My Brother, My Brother and Me Appreciation Group. It is a public group that is, I mean, it’s ballooning out of control. I think I can say that. It is a massive, massive group that is growing like gangbusters for no reason that I can tell.

(Travis) No reason at all. People, it looks like they’re posting every 5 minutes. Somebody’s posting something on there.

(Justin) Yeah. It’s fantastic. There’s a lot… I’ll tell you what there is, though. There are a lot of people asking about what episode they can find a certain bit. It would be amazing if we could harness this Facebook group to finally make the Wiki that we’ve been needing for all these many years.

(Griffin) Or if we could harness it to making us have our own fucking Wikipedia page, which we’ve never had! It’s some bullshit.

(Justin) Yeah. Come on. Anyway. Just search for My Brother, My Brother and Me Appreciation Group on Facebook, and you can join it and it’ll make you happy.

(Travis) You should also check out our new Tumblr’s up? Yes?

(Justin) Yes, it is.

(Travis) And what’s the…

(Justin) MBMBAM.tumblr.com. It’s just, y’know, like, a regular Tumblr-lr. It’s got lots of stuff on it. I wish you two would add something to it ever instead of just making me do it all the time.

(Travis) I put videos up on it! Maybe I’ll start putting -

(Justin) Travis, I am looking at it right now and you have put nothing up on it.

(Griffin) I don’t understand, I guess, what Tumblr’s for. I just thought it was, like, where people put their tasteful nudes. That might not be accurate.

(Travis) I’ll try to write some stuff on it.

(Justin) Don’t use it to put, like, don’t use it as a diary. It’s not LiveJournal.

(Travis) I’ll post my musings.

(Justin) Oh god. His… “Here’s some observations on today’s news from my skewed perspective! This is Travis!”

(Travis) Travis!

(Griffin) “These aren’t going to be the most popular opinions, but goddammit, they’re mine.”

(Travis) Go check that out. Check out our YouTube page as well. I put - so, a lot of people really liked the Adventure Zone. If you want to share it with a friend we made a YouTube video of the whole episode. It’s a little bit easier to share, a little bit more consumable for people that maybe don’t normally listen to podcasts. So it’s on there, um, so go check it out.

(Griffin) I want to thank, uh, I almost said Yahoo. God dammit. I want to thank John Roderick and the Long Winters for the use of our theme song It’s A Departure off the album Putting the Days to Bed. It’s a truly fantastic album. I was doing some cooking this past week and I had it playing on vinyl and it was like 58 degrees here in Austin, I had all the windows open and just smelling that fall foliage.

(Justin) That’s chili-makin’.

(Griffin) Oh my god, it was a dream, is what it was. So, get that album. It’s perfect for chili.

(Justin) Thanks again to MeUndies for supporting the podcast. You can go to MeUndies.com/(___) and get 20% off your first order. And right now you can get free shipping in the US and Canada.

(Griffin) And they might even throw a little bit of a nug of weed in the box.

(Justin) They won’t do that.

(Griffin) They might even give you a little bit of a nug of weed.

(Travis) Check out all the other great shows on Max Fun. Ah, this is always the most challenging part. Let’s go. Sawbones, of course, starring our very own Justin McElroy and Sydnee McElroy. Throwing Shade. Jordan Jesse Go. Bullseye. Memory Palace. Song Exploder. Risk. One Bad Mother. Throwing Shade. Wham Bam Pow. What am I forgetting?

(Griffin) Slam Bam Pow!

(Travis) Slam Bam Pow. Oh No Ross and Carrie.

(Griffin) The Goosedown?

(Travis) The Goosedown.

(Griffin) Lady to Lady?

(Travis) Judge John Hodgman.

(Justin) Griffin, last question!

(Griffin) Thank you all for listening.

(Justin) Thank you!

Final Yahoo

(Griffin) This final Yahoo was sent in by Eliah K, thank you Eliah. It’s by Yahoo Answers user Allie, who asks, “My dad is a goth. What do I do?”

(Justin) My name is Justin McElroy.

(Travis) I’m Travis McElroy.

(Griffin) I’m Griffin McElroy.

(Justin) This has been My Brother, My Brother and Me. Kiss your dad square on the lips!