List of All Answered Questions

Episode 01: Gettin' Beebed

  1. I want a larger follower account but I’m finding it difficult to get more than two in a day. What can I do?

  2. How do I get my incredibly talented artist friends to draw more?

  3. I really need advice on how to add, oh, about 10 hours to my day. Can you help?

  4. Ryan Gann is afraid of bees, wasps, and hornets. When he wears red shirts in the spring they seem to go near me. What do I do?

  5. How many times a week should I shampoo my hair? I’m currently on a wash thrice shampoo every third wash cycle.

  6. Dear MBMBAM I’m looking for love, not the sicko type, but if I find that I’m not opposed; any ideas?

Episode 02: Holding a Stranger's Hand

  1. I’m a geek who plays video games all day. I have few friends but unluckily they’re geeks too. I'm starting university soon and wondered if you have any tips on curing my social anxiety and getting comfortable talking to people I’ve not met before.

  2. Assume I’m an awesome pretty girl. I like a shy guy and had three dates. First three dates were all in dates and HH. We had a tournament of bar games kind a thing going. The fourth date was a driving range, his idea. How do I get him to transition to a nice dinner?

  3. What’s the biggest mistake women make in relationships. What about dudes?

  4. I go to a lot of meetings with my father-in-law at work. When and how should I let people we are meeting with know we are related?

  5. My wife refuses to watch the room. One, what the fuck is wrong with her? Two, how can I get her to watch it?

  6. How can I get my girlfriend to move to Vancouver?

  7. I haven’t been able to fly for about four years now due to a bad flight through a thunderstorm. It increased in anxiety over flying resulting panic attacks before trips even walking off of a plane because my anxiety got so bad. I know flying is the safest way to travel and I know I’m missing out on things by not flying. Any advice that can help me overcome this irrational fear?

  8. So While I was working a crappy job at an upscale breakfast restaurant I fell in crush with a girl. The problem was she would always say “totes” (in place of totally). I started doing it in a way of ironically ridiculing her and trying to force herself to view her own unacceptable behavior. The problem arose thereafter when I kept saying it all the time and now all of my friends say it too. My question is: Should I be proud that my friends view me as the social god which all others must be judged against and for that reason they emulate my dialect or should I feel guilty for making everybody a little bit stupider? P.S. I’ve totally been on a low-fat yogurt and granola trend lately. What are the McElroy’s snacking on?

  9. As brothers have you ever lied to your parents as a group in one lie extravaganza. What do you feel the best way to lie to parents? Laying back story?

  10. I started taking the bus to work recently and I have about 35 minutes a day twice a day more to sit around and or stand than I used to. Aside from listening to fine podcasts of future McElroy’s how do you suggest I spend this extra time?

Episode 03: My Walnut is a Temple

  1. I’m in love with my long distance girlfriend and I want to marry her; should I quit my job and move to Oregon to be with her?

  2. So a few friends and I will soon be knee deep in the excitement and thrills of post adolescent co-habitation. This will be our first time living with people we aren’t related to outside of an on campus housing arrangement. While we all have some pretty awesome social anxiety, we seen to be able to tolerate each other. I’m slightly worried however because one of them is a female. How should I prepare for this? Are there ground rules I should be aware of? Any advice would be much appreciated.

  3. My girlfriend of over a year gets angry about having Maxim magazines in the bathroom. Sure it’s great to look at side boobs while you’re pooping but I just think they’re well written clever articles. Maximum is the McElroy brothers of magazines except better looking and less offensive, at least in my view. Is she wrong to be a dickhead when it comes to my magazines or should I remain faithful to my promise to take my magazines to work?

  4. [My wife tells me] that you can wear blue shirts with blue jeans but it doesn’t feel right. Help me brothers.

  5. My friend needs to leave his dead end low paying job and get out of his lame living situation. He likes the idea of university in my city and would excel in it but he refuses to leave home for another city because “all of his family is here”. He is 22. How do I convince him to sack up, move out, and get his education?

  6. [When I go to the movies] how the hell am I supposed to know what arm rest is mine? There is only one each side.

  7. I feel like I’m slipping away from all of my friends. We used to have a big thing in common which got us all hanging out together but now that’s gone and I hardly see them anymore. MBMBAM, how can I save my friendships?

  8. My wife is a very tidy person and is always putting my stuff away. Unfortunately, I’m not a slob and I keep my possessions well organized so mostly this in tells her rearranging my things in a manner that makes it impossible to find. For instance today I spent well over an hour searching for printer paper that was previously neatly stacked on top of a shelf in my home office near the printer but had been put away in closet in our guest room.

  9. Sometimes when I’m at a party with my friends we play Rock Band and we all take turns singing. I get really psyched for when my turn comes because I have super bitchin pipes and when I sing ‘Simple Man’ by Lynyrd Skynyrd it brings the house down without fail. However sometime between when I grab the microphone and the song section menu a changes come over me and I end up picking ‘Crush Crush Crush’ by Paramore; granted every healthy virile man within a quarter mile is at half mast by the time the song is over. But it is still concerning. What does this say about me and is my concern warranted?

  10. [I’m on a Flogging Molly kick at the moment. I’ve taught myself some of the songs on the geek box and am trying to decide how best to sing with them] For those unfamiliar with the band the lead singer has an Irish accent, the problem is I do not. When I sing them in American a lot is lost but I’ve tried it in an Irish accent and am afraid I’m making a fool of myself.